This Saturday I have thought of you all day and of all the Saturdays we have been blessed to share together. I cherish the memory of those small moments of waking late, resting my head on your chest as we gather the wherewithal to escape the comfort of pillows and blankets and cuddling.
We used our Saturdays for big breakfasts sometimes. Pancakes, sometimes dotted with various fruits, waffles, eggs & bacon, or something entirely new. I liked to test new recipes on you and you always seemed more than happy to oblige.
We always seemed to be moving on Saturdays, our schedule usually full of some odd jobs or obligation. Invitations from family and friends piled up through the week. The stillness of my weekends now seems so peculiar when I think back on the flurry of those afternoons and early evening.
But the evenings were usually ours as we joked about being old people who preferred to stay in on weekends. Hearty dinners and curled up in front of the TV. Something on Netflix that didn’t always register because my eyes were so full of you.
And always, always I felt the magnetism of your body close to mine, the heat of your skin raising the blush of my own. Baby, from the very beginning you owned me in every way, my soul yearned for yours and I felt things I have never felt before. It was my awakening. I have to believe in soulmates because I have felt the connection between us so keenly and even an ocean and a continent away I feel you. The string of fate is bound securely from your heart to mine.
I love you. I don’t ever want the repetition of the phrase to diminish what I feel when I say it. I love you. I love you. The words drag through my veins and into my stomach, it is almost painful the depth of emotion those words pull from me because I mean them towards you.
My Saturdays are filled with caring for daughter at the moment, with waiting for your call, a few minutes of seeing your face pixelated on a tiny screen but it is still the most beautiful sight that fills my soul with delight. I know we will have these days again, so many more in the future. And one day I will have the luxury of reflecting on these as a distant memory of our long, beautiful life together.
A Soldier’s Wife